Jay Squires

I tried to build a new life as close as possible to the life I lost. Which brings me to today.

By Jay Squires. A tough 6 months. My dad’s death, problems at home and one new affliction after another dragged me down. Peace is my goal.

One of my obsessions has been the search for a record of my viral load on admission to the hospital in 2012.

I did not fear death. Instead I feared what I believed preceded it. During those two weeks I read all I could about the medical progression

This is one ’severe’ disease I can handle.

I was found to have a “severely herniated” disc at the L4/L5 position. “Severely herniated” and two operations to strike a double hernia.

I was diagnosed with AIDS encephalopathy. This syndrome atrophied parts of my brain, across the brain’s structure.

It was just an overcast, drizzly, unpretentious day but as it passed it became magical to me.

The events about which I write today will seem fantastical to some. But they are the truth as I experienced it, and they led me to God.

My first-ever writer’s block. I swear it’s better than it sounds.

My name is Jay Squires. I’m beginning my POZ blog by explaining my troubles, because these troubles have forged the man I am today.